52 Weeks of Canadian Gaming - Week 30
Spider-Man: Friend or Foe
Release Date: October 02, 2007
Developer: Next Level Games
ESRB Rating: Everyone 10+
Reviewed by: Brian Wray
NOTE: Due to a web site crash, Thryon was not available to write his opinion of my story, so I, your friendly Spider-Man will give you my own opinion of the events of what happened.
Let me tell you, It’s not easy being Spider-Man. Sure I have been called amazing, spectacular, sensational and even astonishing, but it’s not always confetti parades and apple pie. Yeah I know the whole “With great power comes great responsibility" speech, but can I guy not get a night off every night and then.
Take today for example. I was just swinging around town, trying not to meddle in anyone business when I was ambushed by the Green Goblin, Doc Oc, Sandman and Venom. Good thing my buddy the New Goblin was there to lend an assist. Just as we had the fight in hand, all my arch-enemies started disappearing. If that was not strange enough, I was kidnapped by a huge flying ship. It was totally "Close Encounters of the Third Kind". Turns out the ship belonged to S.H.I.E.L.D and was captained by Nick Fury (who was still very white at this point). Nick explained to me that the same meteor that brought to Earth the Venomsymbiote had broken up into six shards, one of which was in Nick's possession. As luck would have it, these shards could unless unimaginable powers in the wrong hands, and as luck would have it that is exactly were it ended up. Nick recruited the help of yours truly to retrieve the five remaining shards that are scattered all over the world. I said sure, why not. Sure beats these hot muggy New York nights.
My adventure did take me to some exotic places such as Cairo, Tokyo and Nepal. I must have suffered from some Helicarrier lag for I had a hard time identifying one location from the other. New York city is a place filled with colourfully people, but these location were no New York. Everything was bland and forgetful. I honestly felt like I was part of a last-generation comic book. You know, those comics that had poor colouring and bland artwork. Those comics were fine during their time, but today we have come to expect high resolution art work with vibrant colours.
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The task of retrieving the shards was not an easy one. The coward that had captured the shards used it to create an army of to create an army of Perpetual Holographic Avatar Nanotech Offensive Monsters or PHANTOMs for short (who pays these guys to come up with all these acronyms?). It was a good thing that I came always prepared for such an occasion. I have been training a lot lately and developed some pretty nifty fighting techniques. OK, I can punch a guy and that is about it. But these PHANTOMs are quite predictable and only come in four different flavours, from the small annoying range attack ones to the medium sized close combat freaks, the "larger they are the harder they fall" and finally the mid-boss "I have a giant target on my chest" PHANTOMs. Just by co-incidence I have developed special fighting and web slinging techniques for all three types of PHANTOMs. The only problem is that I have not had a chance to upgrade my technology yet, but not to worry for these PHANTOMs and all breakable objects in the world will release special crystals called tech tokens, that I can use to enhance my web skills and also my strength, toughness and life levels. Here Aunt May always told me to eat my vegetables when it was really yellow alien tech tokens that was needed.
Nick insisted that I bring a friend with me for each mission as the PHANTOMs are very powerful and would be too much for me to handle alone. Good thing there was plenty of friends available to lend a hand. Now get this, as faith would have it, all my arch-enemies that disappeared did not really vanish after all, they were just mind-controlled by someone, presumably the same person that took control of the shards. Once I broke them free of the shard and the mind control, they felt some silly. They then in turn insisted on joining me in my quest to take down whomever was behind all of this. Great, if it was not bad enough I had to deal with these PHANTOMs and some super villain with a major ego trip, I now had to partner up with the likes of Sandman, The Scorpion, The Lizard, Rhino, Black Cat and Venom. Venom, the guy tried to eat me on several occasions and now I must team up with the guy and his severe case of halitosis. I guess the enemy of my enemy is my friend.
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To be honest I am not sure I really needed their help after all. Every mission was very similar in nature in layout and in strategy, even the enemies are always the same. It was the same story over and over again, enter a region, destroy all the PHANTOMs present to open a door or create a bridge....so many bridges. Remember that guy that built a thousand bridges, he must have been around to guild a thousand more. Before taking the bridge to the next battle area, I would always destroy anything breakable for those lovely tech crystals. Well I did at first, but quickly realized that upgrading my skills was quite useless as the PHANTOMs never did get more difficult, or more intelligent. I could breeze thought each battle area using just my simple punch. Even the Vulture put up more a fight then these guys. Oh and upgrading my fellow friends was also quite pointless as they would always disappear during the big boss fights leaving me all alone to defeat the next mind-controlled freak.
Once I had saved the world single-handedly (no I will not tell you who was behind the entire affair), I could now return to many of the new found locations to fight it out with my new friends. I could do such a thing, but I choose to skip out on this option. I was just glad this night was over. To be completely honest, I would rather forget this entire adventure even happened. I cannot imagine anyone over the age of six would be interested in this story.
Well that's it folks. This Friendly Neighbourhood Spider-Man has work to do. I am off to help the X-Men and a bunch more supers in something they call the "Ultimate Alliance". See, I told you there would be no confetti or apple pie.